five good things

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five good things

1. The New Yorker fiction podcast, which I just rediscovered and am really enjoying. David Sedaris reading Miranda July, yes yes yes.

2. Waking up fifteen minutes before I have to get out of bed, thinking through a strategy.

3. This Buzzfeed list of 33 documentaries to stream on Netflix. Thanks, Tahlia!

4. Fall Arts roundups, contemplating getting a theater membership somewhere, all of Boston going back to school.

5. A very favorite cousin coming to visit this weekend for lobsters and margaritas. It’s supposed to be beautiful outside.

 

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five good things

1.  Sloane Crosley’s THE CLASP, which I started last night on the T and am already gobbling: thirtysomething college friends at a wedding, SURE YES, DON’T MIND IF I DO.

2. Finally replacing my moisturizer before my entire face cracked right off my skull like a shattered mirror, Jesus H.

3. This blog by Nena Boling-Smith which is just really beautiful and open and honest about mental health in a way I am really appreciating.

4. A surprise afternoon with my sister and girlfriends, dinner with the incomparable Christa Desir, lunch with Emery Lord last weekend and how often I said, oh my gosh, Emery, me too. Me too. 

5. Fall coming: the occasional not-sweaty breeze, a new Tana French book in October, being almost-almost ready to share this draft and what comes after.

 

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five good things

1. Being far enough along in this draft that I can kind of see the end of it, sort of, if I squint and pray.

2. Outsiders, which I started last night on Tess’s rec and which will probably do quite nicely while I wait for my actual favorite coal-mining show, The Old-Tymey Canadian Misunderstanding Romance Hour, to return.

3. Smashing up the ugly tile in the second floor bathroom and the obnoxious bougie light fixture I got to put in there when it’s all done.

4. Sweet texts from family and friends with the first FIREWORKS ARCs, the slow letting out of a long-held breath.

5. It was too hot to walk this morning so I took the bus instead. YOLO.

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five good things

1. August business: beach trips, walks to the seaport, maxi dresses, sunscreen smell, a freezer full of ice cream sandwiches.

2. One of my very favorite people in the entire world is moving from Texas to New York in like a MINUTE, and while New York is not Boston, IT IS PRETTY DAMN CLOSE. Can’t wait to make you a celebratory cheese plate and rap Empire State of Mind at the top of my lungs for you, LJB. Rest assured I know all the words, especially the swears.

3. Stranger Things, which scared the bejesus out of me three nights in a row and did something rather spectacular to my heart besides.

4. My sister is on her way here at this very moment for jeans shopping and snack eating and fancy cocktail consumption and I have one million things to tell her and I cannot wait.

5. This is my favorite Yacht Rock song. On and on, on and on, on and on.

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five good things

1. Literally everything about the DNC this week but especially, especially Chelsea introducing her mom last night. I don’t know guys. I feel hopeful all of a sudden. I feel like a trusted adult just told me, you know what, this is not the end of the world. Which is actually what happened I guess.

2. THE NEST, which had a lot of parts in it that made me say, hm, but which nevertheless made for rather excellently entertaining travel reading this week.

3. Carmine, the baby goldfish I won at the Saint Augustine’s Italian Festival in Ossining, New York on Saturday who is, thus far, clinging to life with a fierce tenacity to which we should all frankly aspire.

4. Sitting with my sister in a Le Pain Quotidien near NYU for one precious hour on Monday, both of us talking as fast as we possibly could; this is my favorite part of my whole trip here, I told her, and I meant it.

5. A hefty, hefty list for the month of August and the reminder that I always get more accomplished in the months when there is more to be done.

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five good things

1. A trip home to New York this weekend, the suburbs in summer, the car wash and the fire pit and “I got you a coffee,” zeppole in a greasy paper bag

2. Farmers market dinners, tomato sauce with olives and shallots, Deb’s pasta with bacon and basil and corn, Zucchini bread with butter and flake salt

3. Summer reading: The Paying Guests, The Husband’s Secret, trying Wolf Hall AGAIN

4. A date to get ice cream cones and the streetlights turning on all at once, the surprised, sort of delighted sound he made when it happened

5. A new idea in my back pocket, and the fact that apparently I am not out of them yet.

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five good things

1. This was our first week of no-jacket weather in Boston and it has changed my mood entirely. My friends Lisa and Christine are coming tonight to drink rose and eat oysters and I bought four pairs of shorts and started making a list of fun stuff I want to do this summer (basically: drink rose, eat oysters, wear shorts?). My new anxiety management strategy is saying “I DON’T CARE ABOUT THAT!” out loud in a snotty voice, and it is actually really working!

2. Every year around this time I feel a deep physical need to read a Nora Roberts book, so that is what I am doing right, now. Nora books are so tidy! Everyone accomplishes tasks and falls in love so efficiently! Also, listening to The Raven King, which has rubbed my nerves so raw I kind of can’t be in it for more than a few minutes at a time? I mean that as a compliment. I have a lot to learn from that series.

3. This article about Kerry Washington expertly managing her own publicity, which was fascinating, and this twitter thread of Dahlia Adler’s about what we do or do not require writers to share about themselves, which made me think.

4. My new office bookshelves which (and if it sounds like I am bragging it is because I am bragging) my husband built with his own two hands WHILE I WAS ON VACATION. Whenever somebody says something dickish about YA/high school romances from now on I am going to whip out a picture of these bookshelves, point out that my high school boyfriend built them for me at the age of thirty-one, and then I am going to add that he also stuck an orchid on my desk, which he did.

5. I was on vacation seeing Beyonce, who was obviously and of course amazing and I felt lucky and honored just to be there. I also felt like a guest at someone else’s house, which made me think a lot about this short essay about loving things that are not meant for you which my friend Emery Lord sent to me as part of Ladies  + Fandom and which I never posted until now because I am a garbage person. Enjoy, and happy Friday! I love you a lot.

 

I am a jack of many fandoms, and a master of none. I’d say I’m way more into Harry Potter than the average civilian…but way less than the average person in the YA community. Despite being a 90s child, I was never into boy bands. Sure, I’ve seen Star Wars and Star Trek and LotR. I love Gilmore Girls, and I will kick your ass at Friends trivia. 

 

But I’ve never written fanfiction. I didn’t even know what it was until a few years ago. I’ve never been to a fandom con or cosplayed. (Wait…I did dress up as Britney to see Britney perform in Vegas, if that counts!) The things I love don’t have fandoms the way, say, Marvel comics does. Or maybe they do, and it’s just that I’m not interested in that way. I love spin class but I don’t feel the need to participate in any kind of culture other than showing up to class. I love really well-roasted coffee and chocolate with unusual ingredients. I love design blogs and short stories and a lot of indie bands that I’ll see if they’re anywhere in the vicinity of my city.

So, I was going to fill out my survey about RuPaul’s Drag Race, which is perhaps the closest I get to participating in a fandom. (One of my best friends wrote this incredible piece about why Drag Race is the best, and he articulates it better than I could.) Drag Race lends itself to fandom; with its abundant catchphrases and inside jokes. This year, I watched the finale at a drag bar with my husband, and then got to see the queens perform in Chicago. 

But I didn’t feel quite right answering fandom questions about it, and here’s why:

Drag Race is my ideal world, really. People from all different backgrounds, a huge range of ages and backgrounds coming together over art and identity. Humor and grit. Then add a LOT of fake lashes and glitter. And the truth is. I relate deeply to a lot of the guys. Many of them are channeling pain into art, into character. It’s what I do with writing, so it feels familiar to me, and inspiring. I knew I was hooked when Ben DeLaCreme shared that having a drag character helps nudge him away from depression. This part, I relate to. 

But here’s the coinciding truth: I could not possibly relate to RuPaul’s queens the way that gay men do- and especially the way the drag community does. Many of these performers got into drag after childhoods of mirthless teasing about femininity- or downright abuse. Since that is not my experience or culture, I can’t know the validation, the relief, of having it portrayed- celebrated!- on TV.

I’ve been thinking about it a lot with Beyonce releasing Formation this weekend. The song and video are by, about, and for Black girls. I think it’s fine for other people to enjoy it! But this powerful, intentional show of Black womanhood? White people can’t interact with it the same way.

When you are not part of the marginalized community that art is depicting, you can’t connect with it the same way. Bottom line. 

So, that’s my fandom struggle. How to love something without taking anything from a community it belongs to more. How to support it without overstepping. I don’t have concrete answers about how this is done. What I’ve got is: don’t try to dominate the narrative. Acknowledge that you view it through a lens of privilege. What else? I’d love to hear people’s thoughts on this!

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five good things

1. It’s spring so my winter crust is cracking off and I am crying easily and often and wearing a pair of bright blue flats everywhere I go. There’s a new patch of sunshine on my staircase every morning. Today I saw a man in a full suit carrying one of those big plastic Martha Stewart cupcake holders on the T.

2. The Dream Thieves on audiobook, which I am really just enjoying the shit out of. I can take or leave the magic but there is a slow unfolding thing happening between all these characters that I think I’m just in the exact right moony place for, I don’t even know. I  find Gansey very winning. I like the aunts.

3. All the amazing swag I am dreaming up for FIREWORKS. COME UP WITH SOME PROMOTIONAL ITEMS FOR YOUR 90’s POP STAR BOOK, DON’T MIND IF I DO. Hope you guys like glow necklaces, just saying.

4. The lid/straw combo for my giant plastic water cup that I drag around my house with me like a security blanket SUDDENLY TURNED UP yesterday after being lost for two sad, dehydrated months and I am not exaggerating when I say it was the best thing that happened all week with the possible exception of finding out that two non-famous celebrities I like might be doing a Hallmark Christmas movie together.

5. Letting go, with as much grace as possible, of things that are not meant for me.

Happy weekend. Go kiss somebody you love.

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five good things

1. Spring fever: flowers blooming on my walk to work in the morning, open windows, beach walks, birds screaming their little bird heads off, the overwhelming urge to play outside.

2. This Food52 article about no-waste cooking which I’m a little obsessed with; it reminded me a lot of An Everlasting Meal, another perennial favorite around these parts. Also, really good bread with cream cheese and homemade raspberry jam, shoved in my face while looking at tumblr.

3. Writing new stories and how it feels like having a crush, how it feels like reaching out to grab stars, how it feels like singing. Also: creativity is self-care.

4. New York next week, for adventures.

5. “Crazy is the price you pay for having an imagination. It’s your superpower.” My feelings about this book are complicated; my feelings about that line are pretty good.

Happy weekend. My friends are in town.

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five good things

1.  I was all the hell over the place at the beginning of March, New York and DC and a fabulous trip to Tennessee for SE-YA in the ‘Boro where I got to hang out with a gaggle of smart, funny, wonderful readers + writers, and now I am home to relax and read library books and build a plant stand for my living room and cook a chicken and gobble House of Cards like a monster. It’s good for me to do both kinds of things.

2. Listening to audiobooks on my phone on my commute in the morning, which is a rather lovely alternative to wall-to-wall, teeth-gnashing election coverage. Now: The Raven Boys, finally. Next up: All-American Boys. After that: something about girls Jesus H. Christ enough already.

3. One of my New Year’s resolutions was to write stuff nobody would ever see, and I have been doing it, and it is amazing. Like, for the Dopamine boost alone. It probably doesn’t hurt that I am writing a lot of kissing scenes. Personally I find that never hurts.

4. The oldloves tumblr, this article about Crossroads, Ina’s new cookbook being called COOKING FOR JEFFREY are you kidding me.

5. OH HEY, I have a new book coming out! It’s called FIREWORKS and it takes place in 1997 and it’s about friendships and pop stars and broken down apartment complexes and dreaming your own damn dreams and I am so, so excited to share it with the world this coming winter. More soon.

 

 

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