Spaz.

On Sunday night I had a fall (we won’t talk about how it happened).

This isn’t unusual (Great Subway Stairs Tumble of 2008, anyone?).

But I landed on my tailbone (actually, I landed on my ASS).

Hard (really hard). 

The result? 

I can’t sit (or stand).

Run (or walk).

Lay down (back or stomach).

Climb stairs (or bend over).

Or especially, ESPECIALLY sneeze or cough (unfortunate, since it’s allergy season).

Without  some serious pain

(in the butt).

Taking the night off to watch some teevee. Send me love.